Slowness as a feature, not a bug

I’ve always felt like I do things slowly too. Slow to act, sometimes. Slow to fully grasp things, sometimes. Slow to figure out how to live up to expectations held for me by myself and others, sometimes.

But it’s the sometimes that confuses me. Because sometimes things happen quickly. I act fast after a long period of slow. I do all the things, all at once, while the momentum and energy captures me. But then the crash.

This cycle of intensive action then utter exhaustion is a pattern I am trying to break. Is it a pattern that is my own, or one I’ve adopted to try and fit in to a pace of life that does not suit me?

I feel like I have been chasing slow for a while now. In many ways, outwardly, I am now living slow. I’ve moved further out of London. I’ve embraced my slow, mostly solo, hobbies like gardening, textiles and art. I’m even trying to restart habits that ground me, like journalling, yoga and regular walks. Sometimes slow is your pace. A feature, not a bug.