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Backstage of Au Lazuli

There’s always something lovely about behind-the-scenes shots, right? It’s like peaking into the imperfections, the decisions caught in time, and the various distractions that crop up during the few hours of a photoshoot. Whilst we were otherwise engaged, Jak’s assistant Art captured the magic, with some beautifully serene images. This was nearly a year ago now, but it in the spirit of starting to involve you in the process, I'm sharing them again.

All photographs courtesy of Arturas Bondarciukas.

Wounded Tongues

The joy of this virtual world, is that we do not have to be an expert to speak. Gilded gates no longer halt our path (so they say) and all it really takes is some gumption. Perhaps this is both a blessing and a curse, as we've taken like ducks to water and created something of a cacophony online.

The blogging world has changed a lot since I last partook with vigour (3 years ago, by my reckoning) and re-entry feels something like stepping into another world. Do I need a ticket? Is this where I park? Days pass before me, as I wonder whether I left my tongue behind; lovelorn and entombed in another time.

Life has been a slow whirlwind this last year. The fierce questions and existential woes that grip many of my generation have held me too. I wonder daily if it is the right moment in time for me to do this; whether I know enough, whether it's wanted enough, whether I'm good enough.

My palette, once wet with ink seems dry, drained of its delicate essence somewhere along the line. Yet still I salivate. Because old bruises heal and maybe somehow, there is something left to say.

I tell you this, committing a handful of online faux-pas most likely, because it is all I know. Honesty; no smoke, no mirrors. The burning desire to create does not disappear, as my bursting notebook will attest to. Yet if I let self-consciousness overtake, my tongue will remain heavy and grow ever more weak. Is my tongue strong enough to survive in this wilderness?

The creative world is littered with many hopefuls; from artists and designers to musicians and writers. Each composing their unique melody in this symphony of life. I witness on a regular basis just how beautiful it can be. How necessary it should be for these voices to be heard. Yet I still wonder where I fit. The idea of personal branding has never appealed – brands feel stationary, humans evolve – but if this is ostensibly a "brand", how much of myself do I reveal?

I suppose this is the makings of our answer. Tired of this blight, I'm taking my medication. Uploading past work, figuring out the future. It is taking time, but here I am. Stitching my tongue together, until I wake up with a voice.

Process: Au Lazuli

All that glitters
Design process for the Au Lazuli project, 2012-13.

Process: Hypochondria of the Heart

Unravel the layers
Visual process of the Hypochondria of the Heart project, 2012.

Process: Everted

About a Body
Selected sketchbook pages of the Everted project, 2011.

A Temporary Fix

Last month saw a snap happy trip to Oxfordshire. In lieu of words today, I'll share a few photographs from Upton House with you.

Process: Orbicular

A draping evolution
Making of a project about circles, 2010.